how much is a best friend worth anyway?
Posted by: wiltedplethora on: November 5, 2008
My boyfriend brought something to my attention the other night. no, this wasn’t a sweet nothing to bring butterflies and warm fuzzies, rather i felt a tinge of sorrow at what he said. he pitied me, and i couldn’t handle it.
i am jenn, and i do not have a best friend. sounds like i’m in some sort of alcoholics anonymous group or something. but no, i’m just being upfront and honest here. i didn’t grow up with a “best friend” always at my side. i had one at 4 years old, but after that, i just had friends. i remember once thinking i’d had a “best friend” and offered her a friendship bracelet, which she fervently refused. think of the trauma my 8 year old self felt.
through school there were groups that i hung out with at different ages. my cousins, being the same age and gender as me, were usually a part of that group from time to time. so i guess if i had ever had a “best friend,” one of them would have fit the part. but only for a period of time.
in my teen and adult years i’ve met people and stayed loosely in touch. i even have some people i like to call “good friends” or even “mentors.” but yet now in college, i sit in the cafeteria alone. unless i see someone from class sitting alone as well, which is rare. excluding my boyfriend, i get more texts or calls from my sister than any of my other contacts in the entire address book. and we’re not even close. the last personal email i received was two months ago.
now i’m not saying all this because i’m depressed. i like to be alone. i enjoy reading a good book, or writing, or just zoning out. i like my own little world. but it seems that those on the outside looking in don’t agree. am i a hermit? is it wrong to be a hermit?
i hate the thought of someone pitying me. it honestly made me cry right then and there when bryan said it. not sure exactly why. but i did.
so what’s wrong with me? is it because i’m just too lazy to keep in touch? just plain uninteresting? not “best friend” material? or am i just plain thinking too much? do i even need a “best friend” to be ok? i thought i was doing good all along. i had God, a man i love, stuff to do, a job… you know the basic necessities i found important. do i really have to have “girlfriends?” and if so, where do i get them?
**sorry, mostly just personal thoughts. helps me to write, no need to respond**
Bubble Tea
Posted by: wiltedplethora on: November 4, 2008
I’m making some delicious bubble tea. care to join me? here’s how i’m making it:
you will need:
1 cup large black or white tapioca pearls
8 cups water
- Never use less than 6 cups of water for each one cup of dry tapioca pearls. 8 or 10 to one is better.
- Most people like the pearls a little soft on the outside but a bit chewy. If you like your pearls tender all the way through, measure them, then cover with water and soak them for a few hours before draining and cooking.
- Bring the cooking water to a vigorous boil in a large pot.
- Stir in the tapioca pearls slowly, so they do not stick together or sink into a clump. The tapioca pearls will soon rise to float in the water.
- As soon as they float, boil covered for about 20-30 minutes depending on the size of the tapioca pearls. Stir two or three times during cooking.
- Turn the heat off and let the tapioca sit in the cooking water for another 25 minutes. Stir two or three times during soaking.
- Rinse the cooked tapioca pearls in tap water until the water runs clear and drain.
- Cover with bubble tea sugar syrup or brown sugar syrup, stir to coat. Refrigerate covered if not used right away; they will keep three or four days before they get too mushy.
- When you want some bubble tea, boil a cup of water and warm some refrigerated tapioca pearls for about 3-5 minutes. Then stir into the drink. Enjoy!
November 4th, 2008 – Day of Atonement
Posted by: wiltedplethora on: October 30, 2008
As i’ve been studying in old testament, the day of atonement is when the the priest/rabbi takes a living sacrifice and releases it into the wilderness to die. all the sins of the people are placed upon this animal as an atonement. they are forgiven. that’s the basic gist of it. it would be a yearly rite of passage for the people. not a lot of fun, but required to stay in communication with God. because sin + God = a deadly combination. they can’t coexist. (that’s preachable right there).
So i noticed on the yahoo buzz a leading news story.evidently mccain’s crew is labeling sara palin the scapegoat. what does this mean? is “john” now the priest/rabbi, the only one worthy of entering the holy of holies. while sara takes the blame of all those around her and is sent to die into the wilderness. that seems quite merciless. when and why did politics become so ruthless?
Yahoo news says “In recent days, a McCain “adviser” told Dana Bash of CNN: “She is a diva. She takes no advice from anyone.” i kinda like that there’s a diva in there. honestly maybe i’m a bit sexist/feminist, but i’d probably feel similar if hilary were in the same position. i love watching sara speak, she reminds me of my former school’s principal. she knows what she’s saying, and she doesn’t care who hears. i love the winks at the camera too. and with her just stopping by to visit my hometown (in rural ohio), she’s got more props.
what i don’t like is all the reps going at each other with the voting records, the lieing, scheming, etc. what the heck? i don’t care too much. sure it’s juicy and all, but tell me what will happen, what can happen, and what you want to happen. not what you hope and dream for that’s not probable and now what’s happened in the past necessarily.
so in a few days, will there be a day of atonement? who will be the scapegoat? sara palin, or if it goes democratic, who will it be?
and i’ve heard an interesting rumor that i need to look into. apparently a minister received a message for sara from God stating that she would be the next ester. hmmm… not sure of the relevance or truth to that, but still quite interesting.
I need my happy place….
Posted by: wiltedplethora on: October 30, 2008
Ever feel a bit under pressure? like stress is just bearing down from every angle and degree….
The economy is funky right now (we all know that). I’ve been job-less now for a period of 3 months and am now just finally back on the market, working for part time minimum wage at a department store. I used to have a career. Newly enrolled as a full time student at a nearby college I must commute to daily, the oldest freshmen in my class though I must admit I’m in the traditional program not the adult. I’ve moved back home with the parents, after being independent for 5 years. Bills arrive and stack up almost daily. My homework assignments line my goodwill backpack….
i feel pressure. i need my happy place.
Where’s my happy place, you might ask? I can’t really narrow it down to just one specific place or even time frame, rather I have quite a few:
-laying prostrate on the dock at camp swoneky, facing the water beneath me
-kneeling at a stone altar in colorado springs
-the moment i wake up refreshed on a saturday morning
-late night beneath the stars
-and oh, of course in my Bry’s arms
it is in these places that I’m able to loose sense of self and awareness of the world around me. I can shrink back and reload. Think. Calm. And it’s good again.
Can you ever get too much of a happy place?
Where or what is your happy place?
Hello world!
Posted by: wiltedplethora on: October 30, 2008
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